When we got home Middle Boy flopped himself on the floor of any room I went to.
Moved to the kitchen...flopped himself on the floor.
Moved to the living room...flopped himself on the floor.
He continued to make snide comments about how unfair I am to turn off the service to his phone when all of this is "on me".
Finally I had it. I told him that if I heard one more word about the phone or something disrespectful to me he was losing his phone permanently.
That is when he snapped...finally snapped. He said "how would you feel if you found out from three of your teachers that your biological cousin committed suicide over the weekend?"
FINALLY...the reason. He ran to his room. I followed him. He cried. Cried like I have never seen him cry. I sat on his bed next to him and cried with him. I asked about his cousin. This young man was the only one in his biological family that Middle Boy thought would "be somebody someday". He was the one who used to take care of Middle Boy when his mom was too strung out on meth to care for him. In some ways he was a brother, in some ways a dad.
He hurts. All of those posts last night weren't about him...they were about his cousin.
I asked him if he wanted to go to the funeral. He was quick to say that it would make him feel too guilty, because he skipped his grandma's funeral and he isn't a "good funeral person". I explained that NO ONE is a good funeral person and if there is any question in his mind he should go. I would go with him. I told him that you never get a second chance to pay your last respects. He is still pretty adamant about not going. I told him we would go to the cemetary where he is buried to pray. He thought that was a good idea.
My heart breaks for Middle Boy. I wish he felt like he could talk to me about this stuff. He told me flat out tonight he doesn't know if he will ever be able to. What I think he doesn't realize is that he does. It just takes a lot of effort from me.
Pray for Middle Boy's biological family. Pray they find peace.
Moved to the kitchen...flopped himself on the floor.
Moved to the living room...flopped himself on the floor.
He continued to make snide comments about how unfair I am to turn off the service to his phone when all of this is "on me".
Finally I had it. I told him that if I heard one more word about the phone or something disrespectful to me he was losing his phone permanently.
That is when he snapped...finally snapped. He said "how would you feel if you found out from three of your teachers that your biological cousin committed suicide over the weekend?"
FINALLY...the reason. He ran to his room. I followed him. He cried. Cried like I have never seen him cry. I sat on his bed next to him and cried with him. I asked about his cousin. This young man was the only one in his biological family that Middle Boy thought would "be somebody someday". He was the one who used to take care of Middle Boy when his mom was too strung out on meth to care for him. In some ways he was a brother, in some ways a dad.
He hurts. All of those posts last night weren't about him...they were about his cousin.
I asked him if he wanted to go to the funeral. He was quick to say that it would make him feel too guilty, because he skipped his grandma's funeral and he isn't a "good funeral person". I explained that NO ONE is a good funeral person and if there is any question in his mind he should go. I would go with him. I told him that you never get a second chance to pay your last respects. He is still pretty adamant about not going. I told him we would go to the cemetary where he is buried to pray. He thought that was a good idea.
My heart breaks for Middle Boy. I wish he felt like he could talk to me about this stuff. He told me flat out tonight he doesn't know if he will ever be able to. What I think he doesn't realize is that he does. It just takes a lot of effort from me.
Pray for Middle Boy's biological family. Pray they find peace.
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