There are two things I dread these days....going home from work and bedtime.

As the time gets closer at the end of the work day I can feel myself tensing up.  Home is not a pleasant place right now.  I feel stuck in fight or flight.  This has only happened to me once before and that was at Girls TRAC over the summer.  I find myself bracing to be screamed at and argued with non-stop until bedtime.

Bedtime...I hate it.  Everyone has a scheduled bedtime.  Right now the only person who is respectful of bedtime is Older Boy.  I think it is mostly because he is super exhausted from all of the rage he utilizes over the course of the evening.

Middle Boy and Younger Boy are just defiant.  Honestly I have stopped caring.  By the time Older Boy goes to bed I am done.  It is hard to go from managing all of the anger and not just want to sleep.  I'm emotionally drained.

I want to say it is going to be different soon.  I'm not sure it is.

Pray for rest for me.  I'm tired.