Therapist A jokes that our house has therapists swarming around it like buzzards...just circling and circling.
That is kind of what it felt like tonight....in a good way.
Therapist J was there to meet with Older Boy. Their entire discussion centered on the choices made that resulted in his suspension. Older Boy's justification for punching the other boy was that the other boy was annoying him. Therapist J asked if Older Boy annoyed him during their session if he should just stand up and punch him in the face. Older Boy was appalled. Of course Therapist J shouldn't do that. When Therapist J pointed out that was EXACTLY what Older Boy had done Older Boy shut down. For the rest of the session (something like 40 minutes) Older Boy pretended to be sleeping/snoring. I have to give Therapist J credit...he just kept talking about things he wanted Older Boy to hear. It was a 40 minute monologue about accountability and taking responsibility when you are in the wrong. He even threw in some discussion about following directions for good measure. At the end of the sessions they always report in to me how it goes...I usually can tell by what I overhear during the session. Of course Older Boy told me it went well. When pressured by Therapist J he said that he was annoying during the session. I guess that is a start.
Therapist A was there for family therapy with me and Middle Boy. We talked about what he thinks about school. He has been really anxious about school. When Therapist A and I were both talking about it he covered his head with a blanket and didn't want to talk about it. I asked Therapist A if it was okay if I just talked to him and she could step in if needed. He opened up that the school is so big and he doesn't feel like he knows where he is going and he is a perfectionist and he doesn't want to draw attention to himself and he hates being late. Now I get it. I totally get it. He also said he doesn't really feel like he fits in there. His school is kind of a "wealthy" school. He said he is the only "foster" there and he doesn't want people to know that. He said he would just figure it out. I explained that he doesn't have to do things on his own anymore...we are a team...a family. At that point he grabbed my hand and said he knows...he just forgets...and he started to cry. I don't think Therapist A said much more until she and I were wrapping up. She thinks we don't need her. She said what she witnessed made her want to cry. She loves Middle Boy. She wants him to be happy. She is going to do three more sessions with us and then check in with us every month or so to see how we are doing.
I told Middle Boy later and he was relieved. He has been in therapy for EIGHT years. He is tired of it. I would be, too.
Younger Boy did a GREAT job of not interfering with anyone's therapy. We teased him about being left out and Therapist A asked if we should see if Therapist T could come to the party. He said he would just wait until their next appointment.
Praises for AMAZING therapists. If we have to have them...these are the three I want in our home. They seem to be perfectly matched with the kids they are working with.
Praises for open, honest communication and the start of some healing.
That is kind of what it felt like tonight....in a good way.
Therapist J was there to meet with Older Boy. Their entire discussion centered on the choices made that resulted in his suspension. Older Boy's justification for punching the other boy was that the other boy was annoying him. Therapist J asked if Older Boy annoyed him during their session if he should just stand up and punch him in the face. Older Boy was appalled. Of course Therapist J shouldn't do that. When Therapist J pointed out that was EXACTLY what Older Boy had done Older Boy shut down. For the rest of the session (something like 40 minutes) Older Boy pretended to be sleeping/snoring. I have to give Therapist J credit...he just kept talking about things he wanted Older Boy to hear. It was a 40 minute monologue about accountability and taking responsibility when you are in the wrong. He even threw in some discussion about following directions for good measure. At the end of the sessions they always report in to me how it goes...I usually can tell by what I overhear during the session. Of course Older Boy told me it went well. When pressured by Therapist J he said that he was annoying during the session. I guess that is a start.
Therapist A was there for family therapy with me and Middle Boy. We talked about what he thinks about school. He has been really anxious about school. When Therapist A and I were both talking about it he covered his head with a blanket and didn't want to talk about it. I asked Therapist A if it was okay if I just talked to him and she could step in if needed. He opened up that the school is so big and he doesn't feel like he knows where he is going and he is a perfectionist and he doesn't want to draw attention to himself and he hates being late. Now I get it. I totally get it. He also said he doesn't really feel like he fits in there. His school is kind of a "wealthy" school. He said he is the only "foster" there and he doesn't want people to know that. He said he would just figure it out. I explained that he doesn't have to do things on his own anymore...we are a team...a family. At that point he grabbed my hand and said he knows...he just forgets...and he started to cry. I don't think Therapist A said much more until she and I were wrapping up. She thinks we don't need her. She said what she witnessed made her want to cry. She loves Middle Boy. She wants him to be happy. She is going to do three more sessions with us and then check in with us every month or so to see how we are doing.
I told Middle Boy later and he was relieved. He has been in therapy for EIGHT years. He is tired of it. I would be, too.
Younger Boy did a GREAT job of not interfering with anyone's therapy. We teased him about being left out and Therapist A asked if we should see if Therapist T could come to the party. He said he would just wait until their next appointment.
Praises for AMAZING therapists. If we have to have them...these are the three I want in our home. They seem to be perfectly matched with the kids they are working with.
Praises for open, honest communication and the start of some healing.
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